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I grew up among  alcoholics.  They were so disruptive on one hand, on another they were always the life of the party! I did not enjoy the pain and suffering that one had to endure as it always seem that they were so out of control.   My two younger brothers were substance abusers.   My favorite aunt, was a hopeless alcoholic.  My baby brother abused both drugs and alcohol. The other one suffered from a life of drinking.  It led to a premature death.  The cheap alcohol literally ate a hole in his stomach.  He and I were very close and it was hard to see the toil of alcoholism on his body,mind, and soul.   My poor mother, suffered as well.  Watching all those around her addicted to drugs and alcohol.  Her aunt, cousins, friends, and finally her sons.  Therefore, I did not want to succumb to the effects of being addicted to drugs and alcohol.   I consider myself a social drinker.  I did not enjoy the feeling of being “drunk” and hung over.  Being the youngest and the only girl, probably also had an affect on my ability to refrain as well.  My mother suffered so much pain and I did not wish to add to her suffering. Therefore, I strived to be the perfect daughter. 

If I had to choose a drug to abuse,  my drug of choice would be pills.  Pills allow you to float away into another dimension.   On occasion, I have taken a pill or two to relax and unwind.   For this reason, I am careful not to abuse them. I take prescribed medication as directed.  I have on occasion, taken one or two more than prescribed.  I am thankful that I have people in my life that are aware of my propensity to abuse pills and call me out when they notice personality changes.  I also have a therapist and psychotherapists who watch my emotional well-being.  Both are well aware of this weakness of mine.  Moreover, I am aware of the dangers associated with drug addiction.   For this reason, I am careful to steer away from pill popping when I feel the slightest pain .  To complicate matters, I have a high pain threshold and it takes a lot to put me under.  I am honest with myself.  I am honest with my doctors and family members when it comes to drug abuse.  Those that are near and dear to me, know that they are to never give me a pain pill.  If I am in pain, I must get my medicine from my physician.   My views on drug and alcohol has more to do with the pain of addiction.  We all addicted in one way or another. The important factor, is self awareness and to seek help when one feels overwhelmed or stressed out.   My view is that since most of us suffer from addictive behavior disorder, it is important to carefully watch both drug and alcohol intake.  There are many people addicted to prescription drugs.  I will always feel an incredible sadness when I think of Michael Jackson.   His family and friends, knew of his addiction. It was no secret.     Michael was crying out for help.  His death came at no surprise.  His life was tortured  and the drugs gave him a respite, a sweet peace, yes, a deceptive rest.   Moreover, I feel that we should legalize drugs.   Drugs are magnets for crime and death.  If we legalize drugs, that would end the crime.   Consequently, when it comes to both drugs and alcohol, to quote Shakespeare “To thine own self be true.”

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