Category: HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENTS AKA BULLYING ON THE JOB


Maya Angelou at the Discovery 2000 conference.

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Originally, I was going to write that I wanted to lose 30 pounds and the reason was that since I promote diet and wellness, I should practice what I preach.  However, today, I went to see my tax accountant.  It was a depressing reminder of how little money I made this year.  Further, I have been actively pursing employment.  If you have followed my posts, you know that I suffer from PTSD.  I am sick and tired of being the victim.  Therefore, I hope to change  the way I feel about myself and work harder to improve my emotional  health.  Prior to my injury, I was a confident professional social worker.  I had been recently promoted to supervisor and I was making good money.  I had a great retirement plan, insurance benefits and finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.  I  purchased my first house,  a long-awaited dream and was  feeling great to finally be a homeowner!    However, in 2006, the pressure of working in a hostile work place finally took its toil on my physical and emotional health.   I applied for worker’s compensation  and was to be reassigned to a less stressful  job.   Of course, this did not occur and I took an early retirement, with the  plan of  seeking employment elsewhere.  For a short time, I worked for my church and believe it or not, due to the stress of that place, I found myself back medical leave.     Consequently, I suffered an emotional set back and found myself back on my therapist’s couch.  I quickly regrouped, at my therapist’s suggestion, applied to the California State  Department of Rehabilitation for retraining.   I qualified for state help due to my job related injury.  My rehabilitation plan  was approved for me to return to  college to get a Master’s Degree in Family Therapy.  In spite of my best efforts, I continue to suffer periods of self-pity and shame for suffering an emotional breakdown.  I truly thought, I was going to quickly recover and get back to my old confident self.   Consequently, this year’s goal is to work harder on putting the past behind me.  I continue to send  applications, go on job interviews,  attend college and self-improvement workshops,  and hope for the best.   Overall, I think I am making good progress, however I am my worst critic.  For example, yesterday, I was on an emotional high, I  interviewed for my dream position  and  it appeared that I was making  a good impression on my interviewers.  However, today, I received a follow-up email indicating that they would keep me in the loop however they were continuing their search.  It was an encouraging email, however I feel they were letting me down gently.   So, I feel emotionally drained and somewhat defeated.  I love Maya Angelou‘s Poem, Still I Rise , especially the verse, “and still I rise”.   Therefore, I must work harder to embrace the future, and to let go of past disappointments.   I downloaded the Bible app on my Blackberry and have started a daily Bible study.   Today’s lesson was so timely  and so encouraging that I have posted it here for all to read.  Whenever you feel that the world has treated you unfairly, remember, they too will have a judgment day!

The “”Knower

God is many different things. He’s a Father, a Creator, a Shepherd, a Husband, a Healer, and a Provider. And each of these names highlights a certain aspect of His nature and character. As a Father, His compassion is expressed. As a Creator, His creativity is expressed. And it goes on and on.

There’s another way in which He is known, and that’s as the Just Judge who presides over earth. As such, another angle of His character is seen. Although the injustices and wrongs of this world may seem to go unpunished, God is the keeper of justice, and He will be faithful to execute it and uphold His righteousness.

It doesn’t always seem like that, especially when we’re personally affected by someone else’s sin. Sometimes it appears that injustice will prevail. But in His own perfect timing, and according to His own perfect way, injustice will be brought into the light, tried, and judged. Nobody truly gets away with anything. One way or another, justice will be served. And this is one of the many ways God’s incomparable character is expressed.

How? We all have a “knower” inside us that responds and resonates when we see the right thing happen. It’s been placed there by God so we would have an internal witness that gives an “amen” to His standards for right and wrong (Romans 2:14-15). And when we see justice served, when God executes judgment, there’s a connection that happens inside us. It puts us on God’s wavelength and can even serve as a catalyst for a deep and intimate relationship with Him.

Lord, continue to reveal Yourself as a righteous and perfect Judge over all things, and deepen our understanding of your heart as you continue to do so.

What does this passage reveal to me about God? He is the judge over my life and is in control of my destiny.

What does this passage reveal to me about myself? I need to develop a stronger faith walk and realize God is in control.

Based on this, what changes do I need to make?  Seek a spirtual mentor,  continue to seek balance in my life, be still and wait patiently on the Lord!!!!

What is my prayer for today? 
Sent via BlackBerry by AT

 

Current Seal of the County of Los Angeles, Cal...
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I have to forgive my former supervisor for making my life hell. she totally f up my life. She is the main reason I had to retire from Los Angeles County with 18 years of service. she is also the reason I have been blackball and unable to return as a part time  worker. Her cronies played a signficant role as well. When I transferred to a new job she had already informed them that the trouble maker was coming. Who let the Dogs out! You know that song, well her buddies had the dogs waiting for me. They tore me a new one. Okay her goes! I was so damaged that I went out on injury comp. I bet she  was laughing her  tail off. Who did Jurline think she was trying to tell us how to do our job. Well we will her. Ouch!

DEAR FORMER SUPERVISOR

I FORGIVE YOU FOR MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID IT. IN A WAY YOU DID ME A FAVOR AS I AM FINALLY LIVING MY LIFE WITHOUT  THE PRESSURE AND STRESS OF BEING IN A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT. I HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO LIVE WITH ALL THE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS FOR ALL THE CHILDREN YOU ALLOWED TO BE MURDERED UNDER YOUR POOR SUPERVISION. I FORGIVE YOU FORMER SUPERVISOR. ARE YOU ABLE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR DESTROYING MY LIFE AS I KNEW IT?

Brain structures involved in dealing with stre...

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THE EYE IS ON THE SPARROW AND I AM WATCHING YOU

TODAY AS I WAS DISCUSSING THIS HORRIBLE SUBJECT OF BULLYING. I WAS SICKENED TO THINK OF HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM BULLIES.

FOR THIS REASON, I AM TAKING A STAND!  ALSO I HAVE A QUESTION? DO YOU THINK BULLIES ATTEND CHURCH?  THE SHORT ANSWER IS YES!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN GOING TO AFRICAN AMERICAN CHURCHES ALL OF MY LIFE…I HAVE BEEN ATTENDING CHURCHES OF DIFFERENT FAITH MOST OF MY LIFE.  I HAVE ENCOUNTERED THOSE CHICKEN LIVERED BULLIES WHILE WORSHIPING THE LORD.  THE MOST RECENT INCIDENT THAT COMES TO MIND IN WHEN I WORKED FOR A LARGE CHURCH.  THINGS STARTED OUT HOLY AND QUICKLY CHANGE TO HELL.   LET’S GET TO THE BULLY.  FIRST OFF THE BULLY IS THE ONE THAT WANTS TO TAKE CHARGE OF EVERYTHING AND COMPLAINS BEHIND YOUR BACK WHEN YOU DONT GO ALONE WITH THE PLAN… WELL THIS BULLY TRIED HER BEST “PUT ME IN CHECK”, HUMILIATE ME,  AND BASICALLY MADE MY LIFE HELL.  I COMPLAINED YES I FELT THAT I HAD TO TELL THE POWERS THAT BE, IT ONLY MADE MATTERS WORSE.  I PREVIOUSLY SHARED WITH THEM THAT I SUFFER FROM POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.  THEIR ANSWER WE ARE GOING  TO PRAY THAT YOU BE HEALED!!!!!! OKAY! I WENT TO MY THERAPIST AND SHE PLACED ME ON LEAVE.  WELL, WHILE I WAS OUT RECUPERATING, THEY FIRED ME.  YOU HEARD ME YES FIRED FROM THE CHURCH, NO CALLS, NO FLOWERS, NO GET WELL CARD.  I RECEIVED A CERTIFIED LETTER INDICATING I WAS FIRED AND SEND BACK THE KEYS AND THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER.  I CRIED LIKE A BABY AS MY THERAPIST READ THE LETTER.  I HAD ENOUGH SENSE NOT TO READ IT ALONE, WHENEVER YOU RECEIVE A CERTIFIED LETTER FROM THE JOB AND YOU AINT EXPECTING A CHECK, IT IS NEVER GOOD NEWS.  MY THERAPIST LOOKED UP AFTER READING THE LETTER AND SAID, YOU NEED TO FIND ANOTHER CHURCH.  I AM STILL LOOKING AS I AM STILL RECOVERING FROM BEING FIRED FROM MY CHURCH. YES,  BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE.  YOU PROBABLY THINK I AM BEING EXTREME.  I WILL SHARE JUST A FEW PERSONAL EXAMPLES.  MY DAUGHTER AND I WENT ON A CHURCH CRUISE, THE BACKSTABBERS TALKED ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND MADE HER FEEL SO COMFORTABLE THAT SHE REFUSED TO INTERACT WITH THEM.  THE PROBLEM SHE LOOKS YOUNGER THAN HER STATED AGE AND THEY WERE JEALOUS THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO WEAR HER TWO PIECE SWIMSUIT…DUH!!!!!   THE LOOKS AND THE SNIDE REMARKS WERE UPSETTING  AND MY DAUGHTER IN HER EARLY TWENTIES AT THE TIME HAD JUST JOINED THE CHURCH.  BY THE END OF THE CRUISE SHE HAD ALMOST RENOUNCED RELIGION AND WENT BACK TO HER OLD CHURCH.   THESE ARE GROWN WOMEN. I HAVE SEEN THEM SAVE SEATS AT CHURCH, AT CONFERENCES, AT HOLIDAY PARTIES ETC.  I HAVE APPROACHED THEIR TABLE ONLY TO BE TOLD THAT THESE SEATS ARE SAVED. (YOU MEAN GOD IS SAVING CHAIRS INSTEAD OF SOULS).   DO NOT MENTION THE CHURCH PARKING LOT WHERE I ALMOST SAW A NICE MATURE LADY GET A BEAT DOWN BECAUSE SHE ACCIDENTLY  BUMPED ANOTHER LADIES CAR.  THIS WAS BEFORE CHURCH MIND YOU.  TRY GETTING OUT OF THE PARKING LOT AFTER CHURCH AND IF YOU AINT REALLY SAVED YOU WILL LOSE YOUR RELIGION.   THEIR IS NO DECORUM WHEN IT COMES TO LEAVING THE PARKING LOT, YOU WILL GET SOME DIRTY STARES IF YOU DONT MOVE FAST ENOUGH, YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO CUT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE, ALL THAT PRAISE AND WORSHIP AND THE GOOD PREACHING EVAPORATES ON THE PARKING LOT.  BULLIES SHOULD BE ASHAMED THE STRESS THAT THEY CAUSE, THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE.  THERE OUTTA BE A LAW.  SOME STATES ARE TAKING THIS ISSUE VERY SERIOUSLY.  SOME CHURCHES EVEN HAVE A DRESS CODE, (UNSPOKEN THAT IS) THE PULPIT SAID COMES AS YOU ARE, THE CONGREGATION SAID YOU BETTER NOT SIT HERE LOOKING LIKE THAT, THESE SEAT ARE RESERVED.   OF COURSE, NOBODY WILL TALK ABOUT THIS SUBJECT.   THE CHURCH SHOULD BE THE ONE PLACE THAT IS SAFE, NON JUDGEMENTAL, FORGIVING, LOVING, COMPASSIONATE. OKAY, THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN CHURCH EXPERIENCE.  ARE THERE CLIQUES? THE PREACHER‘S CIRCLE? THE FUNDRAISERS? THE CELEBRITIES? THE CHOIR? THE USHER BOARD? THE MOTHER BOARD? THE DEACON BOARD?  DONT GET ME WRONG THIS IS MY OPINION AND I HAVE ATTENDED ENOUGH CHURCHES TO FORM MY IDEAS ON THE SUBJECT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN THE CHURCH. HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN ABOUT JIM JONES? OR THE OTHER CULT THAT TOOK OFF AND WENT TO MARS(HEAVENGATE ACTUALLY COMMITTED SUICIDE ).  OKAY, I STILL ATTEND CHURCH ON OCCASION. I GO TO FELLOWSHIP. I REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT THE DIRTY LOOKS, OR THE CLIQUES, OR THE SPECIAL ANOINTED ONES. I GO FOR ME AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD! I AM STANDING UP AGAINST BULLIES !  I VOTE FOR ALL STATES TO ENDORSE ANTI BULLYING LEGISLATION.