Category: love and relationships

Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday Dear Jurline,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu!

A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Jurline Redeaux doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You’re the kind of person, Jurline,
Who’s hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you’ve met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don’t know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

Jurline, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn’t know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won’t be alone!


Michael Silverman 
I am not the original writer, I liked what i saw and it made me think of you, so i customized it for your birthday.  

PS – Jurline, this is going to be YOUR year!!


Dear Jurline,

I have watched you mature so much in the last year.  You are truly one amazing woman.  I admire your compassion as well as your passion.  I love that you always look a the positives versus the negative.  I love your ability to give so much of youself to help make this world a better place.  I love your generous spirit. I have watched you share your last to help someone else. I love your sense of social justice, girl you take care of business.  I love your faith, your tenacious spirit, your courage, your ability to take a stand for what is right.  I love that you love your family.  I love that you care about your community and willing to make positive social changes against the odds.   I love your energy, your creative and active mind.  I still can’t believe you are sixty.  I love your pretty brown eyes so big and expressive.  I love your ability to sell yourself. You are so confident.  You are so friendly and outgoing.  I love your ability to communicate.  Public speaking is your gift.  I love that you value education. Working on a second Master’s Degree? I love your sense of committment. You are a good friend.  I love your ability to encourage others.  I love your honesty and your Pollyanna attitude.  I love your faith in God! I love your relationship with your children especially your daughter. I love that they both love and respect you so much.  I love your sense of humour. I love to see you dance.  I love the girl in you.  I love your positive spirit! I love your walk, your talk, your ability to command attention without hardly trying.  I love that you are one intelligent woman with an inquisitive mind.  I love your inner and outer beauty.  I love the color of your skin, your hair, your body! You are truly a beautiful and vibrant woman.  I love your passion for life and your passion to love.  I love that when you are in love with someone you give them your all.  I love your integrity.   I love that you will fight for what is right, regardless of the consequences.  I love that you are a great parent and a terrific grandparent.  I love that you have so many good friends that love and support you.  I love that you are fearless! Is there anything you will not try? I love your sense of adventure. I love that you love spending time being alone with you.  I love that you are respected by your family, friends, and colleagues.  I love that you do not hold onto the past, you press forward.  I love that you are learning to cope with your illness and recovery is a possibility for you.  I love you for working hard to leave a meaningful legacy to your children and grandchildren.  A legacy of greatness.  I love your loyalty.  On the other hand, I love that you know how to walk away from a negative situation with dignity.  Yes I love that you are a sexy and dignified woman.  You are not afraid to embrace your sensuality.  I love that you are well read, educated, fearless, true blue altruistic woman!!!!! I love you for acceptance of others, the underrepresented and underserved.  I love your appreciation of nature.  You are truly a special person.  God’s gift to the world. Jurline,  I am thankful that you are my best friend.   I feel blessed when I am with you. 

Love always,


Maya Angelou at the Discovery 2000 conference.

Image via Wikipedia

Originally, I was going to write that I wanted to lose 30 pounds and the reason was that since I promote diet and wellness, I should practice what I preach.  However, today, I went to see my tax accountant.  It was a depressing reminder of how little money I made this year.  Further, I have been actively pursing employment.  If you have followed my posts, you know that I suffer from PTSD.  I am sick and tired of being the victim.  Therefore, I hope to change  the way I feel about myself and work harder to improve my emotional  health.  Prior to my injury, I was a confident professional social worker.  I had been recently promoted to supervisor and I was making good money.  I had a great retirement plan, insurance benefits and finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.  I  purchased my first house,  a long-awaited dream and was  feeling great to finally be a homeowner!    However, in 2006, the pressure of working in a hostile work place finally took its toil on my physical and emotional health.   I applied for worker’s compensation  and was to be reassigned to a less stressful  job.   Of course, this did not occur and I took an early retirement, with the  plan of  seeking employment elsewhere.  For a short time, I worked for my church and believe it or not, due to the stress of that place, I found myself back medical leave.     Consequently, I suffered an emotional set back and found myself back on my therapist’s couch.  I quickly regrouped, at my therapist’s suggestion, applied to the California State  Department of Rehabilitation for retraining.   I qualified for state help due to my job related injury.  My rehabilitation plan  was approved for me to return to  college to get a Master’s Degree in Family Therapy.  In spite of my best efforts, I continue to suffer periods of self-pity and shame for suffering an emotional breakdown.  I truly thought, I was going to quickly recover and get back to my old confident self.   Consequently, this year’s goal is to work harder on putting the past behind me.  I continue to send  applications, go on job interviews,  attend college and self-improvement workshops,  and hope for the best.   Overall, I think I am making good progress, however I am my worst critic.  For example, yesterday, I was on an emotional high, I  interviewed for my dream position  and  it appeared that I was making  a good impression on my interviewers.  However, today, I received a follow-up email indicating that they would keep me in the loop however they were continuing their search.  It was an encouraging email, however I feel they were letting me down gently.   So, I feel emotionally drained and somewhat defeated.  I love Maya Angelou‘s Poem, Still I Rise , especially the verse, “and still I rise”.   Therefore, I must work harder to embrace the future, and to let go of past disappointments.   I downloaded the Bible app on my Blackberry and have started a daily Bible study.   Today’s lesson was so timely  and so encouraging that I have posted it here for all to read.  Whenever you feel that the world has treated you unfairly, remember, they too will have a judgment day!

The “”Knower

God is many different things. He’s a Father, a Creator, a Shepherd, a Husband, a Healer, and a Provider. And each of these names highlights a certain aspect of His nature and character. As a Father, His compassion is expressed. As a Creator, His creativity is expressed. And it goes on and on.

There’s another way in which He is known, and that’s as the Just Judge who presides over earth. As such, another angle of His character is seen. Although the injustices and wrongs of this world may seem to go unpunished, God is the keeper of justice, and He will be faithful to execute it and uphold His righteousness.

It doesn’t always seem like that, especially when we’re personally affected by someone else’s sin. Sometimes it appears that injustice will prevail. But in His own perfect timing, and according to His own perfect way, injustice will be brought into the light, tried, and judged. Nobody truly gets away with anything. One way or another, justice will be served. And this is one of the many ways God’s incomparable character is expressed.

How? We all have a “knower” inside us that responds and resonates when we see the right thing happen. It’s been placed there by God so we would have an internal witness that gives an “amen” to His standards for right and wrong (Romans 2:14-15). And when we see justice served, when God executes judgment, there’s a connection that happens inside us. It puts us on God’s wavelength and can even serve as a catalyst for a deep and intimate relationship with Him.

Lord, continue to reveal Yourself as a righteous and perfect Judge over all things, and deepen our understanding of your heart as you continue to do so.

What does this passage reveal to me about God? He is the judge over my life and is in control of my destiny.

What does this passage reveal to me about myself? I need to develop a stronger faith walk and realize God is in control.

Based on this, what changes do I need to make?  Seek a spirtual mentor,  continue to seek balance in my life, be still and wait patiently on the Lord!!!!

What is my prayer for today? 
Sent via BlackBerry by AT


Cover of "And Still I Rise"

Cover of And Still I Rise

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou


No More Drama (song)

Image via Wikipedia

I love this Album No More Drama by Mary J. Blige.  I am writing this letter to tell you that the drama is killing me.  I want to be with you however please please lets work on getting rid of the Drama.  Mary explains it better than I ever could. I played this CD over and over again. Some of the songs, made me cry it hurt so much.  Listen to Mary  she is talking about me, you, and our life.  Let’s do this over again, this time minus the drama.  Your crazy mixed up lover. It seems I can’t live with you and I can’t live without you.  At this point, I am willing to live with you minus the Drama! Let’s do this!!!!!!!

Lesbian wedding near English Bay.

Image via Wikipedia

My view on gay marriage is to each its own.  Initially I was somewhat taken aback as I did not understand the urgency to get married. They had scored a major victory to become domestic partners to gain health insurance benefits.  From  a religious standpoint, I feel that marriage should be between woman and man.  However, my personal world view, is that if two people regardless of sexual orientation should be allowed to marry.  I do not think it is a constitutional issue and feel that each state should hold the legal right to decide whether to legalize marriage in their state.   I am more concerned about the rights of children is this country.  Child welfare is in my opinion much more of an issue than whether we accept same-sex marriage.  

Mu Sochua Receives Eleanor Roosevelt Award

Image by US Mission Geneva via Flickr

When you have decided what you believe, what you feel must be done, have the courage to stand alone and be counted.   Eleanor Roosevelt

To stand alone is admirable.     Being the advocate, taking a stand, and holding one’s ground is a good thing.   I just wish that someone would take a stand for me and allow me to rest.   It is amazing how many people have simply walked out of my life and never looked back.   Maybe I offended them is some way.  If so, that was not my intent.  Taking a stand comes with risk such as being misunderstood.  I suppose, taking a stand, also has a tendency to alienate and intimidate.  In retrospect, if taking a stand has caused  people to walk away I accept their decision.  Moreover, I respect their decision.   I am learning much about myself as I approach my 60th birthday.  I am truly excited to embark on this second phase of my life.  I am hopeful that God will send me a strong-minded as well as strong-willed companion.  I would love to have someone rescue me for a change.  I  typically find myself extending  the olive branch when there has been a misunderstanding of some sort.  I am usually the peace maker and the mediator.   Life is about taking risks.  Taking a stand for whatever reason is also a risk.   My mother used to say, “I you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”.  Well, mama, I am still standing!

Cover of "Full Moon & Shrine"

Cover of Full Moon & Shrine

My girl, Keiko Matsui, her Album Full Moon and the Shrine.   My first trip to Maui was to escape from the heartbreaking job of being an adoptions social worker.  I just announced at the end of a crappy day that I was taking a vacation.   I decided to go to the Island of Maui! I was having relationship problems.(The story of my old life)  I am an incurable romantic and at the last-minute invited my male friend to join me on the Island of Maui!!!!!  I cajoled and begged him, even tried to encourage him by telling him he only needed a plane ticket since I had already paid for the hotel and rental car.   I realized his mother was ill and he wanted to go visit her in Louisiana. I was just hoping that he would be daring enough to spend a couple of days with me and then go see his Mom or vice versa.  Well anyway, Keiko Matsui and her beautiful music got me through so many tough ass days.   The following is my letter thanking Keiko!!!!!

Dearest Keiko,

I am so glad that I packed your CD for my trip to Maui!!! My first trip to what I thought was one of the most romantic places in the World.  I was traveling solo as usual.   I played your CD during my trip over to Maui from LA.  I listened to  your CD as I walked along the beach.  I also listened to your  CD when I drove to Lahaina to hang out for the day!!!!! Your music helped to heal my broken heart.  I felt a new awakening in my body and soul and I felt one with the music.  I walked the beach daily listening to my CD player and gazing out at the Pacific!!!!! I felt so beautiful, so sensual, and so at peace.    I have had many opportunities to see you in concert.   However, I am still waiting to attend with that special someone.   Your music inspired me to dream of being in love again.  It made me think of being remarried. I declared that during the reception we would play your music.  Our first dance shall be to the beat of the Full Moon and the Shrine!!!! So, Keiko, I just can’t attend your concert until I find the right date!!!! Correction, dammit, that next time you are in the Los Angeles Area, I will come to see you with my new BFF(me)!  I will be sure to introduce myself, ask for your autograph, and invite you to play at my wedding.    I do thank your for making my trip to Maui a magical one.  Your music saved me from feeling sorry for myself because Maui is a place for honeymooners. Your music allowed me to create a fantasy island, complete with my knight in shining armor, with love on his mind!!!! 

In closing, I wish to thank you for creating music for the soul.  Furthermore, I thank you for creating music that helped to heal my broken heart and broken spirit.   I always think of Maui, when I hear this album.

One of your ardent fans,


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