Tag Archive: Christianity

Maya Angelou at the Discovery 2000 conference.

Image via Wikipedia

Originally, I was going to write that I wanted to lose 30 pounds and the reason was that since I promote diet and wellness, I should practice what I preach.  However, today, I went to see my tax accountant.  It was a depressing reminder of how little money I made this year.  Further, I have been actively pursing employment.  If you have followed my posts, you know that I suffer from PTSD.  I am sick and tired of being the victim.  Therefore, I hope to change  the way I feel about myself and work harder to improve my emotional  health.  Prior to my injury, I was a confident professional social worker.  I had been recently promoted to supervisor and I was making good money.  I had a great retirement plan, insurance benefits and finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.  I  purchased my first house,  a long-awaited dream and was  feeling great to finally be a homeowner!    However, in 2006, the pressure of working in a hostile work place finally took its toil on my physical and emotional health.   I applied for worker’s compensation  and was to be reassigned to a less stressful  job.   Of course, this did not occur and I took an early retirement, with the  plan of  seeking employment elsewhere.  For a short time, I worked for my church and believe it or not, due to the stress of that place, I found myself back medical leave.     Consequently, I suffered an emotional set back and found myself back on my therapist’s couch.  I quickly regrouped, at my therapist’s suggestion, applied to the California State  Department of Rehabilitation for retraining.   I qualified for state help due to my job related injury.  My rehabilitation plan  was approved for me to return to  college to get a Master’s Degree in Family Therapy.  In spite of my best efforts, I continue to suffer periods of self-pity and shame for suffering an emotional breakdown.  I truly thought, I was going to quickly recover and get back to my old confident self.   Consequently, this year’s goal is to work harder on putting the past behind me.  I continue to send  applications, go on job interviews,  attend college and self-improvement workshops,  and hope for the best.   Overall, I think I am making good progress, however I am my worst critic.  For example, yesterday, I was on an emotional high, I  interviewed for my dream position  and  it appeared that I was making  a good impression on my interviewers.  However, today, I received a follow-up email indicating that they would keep me in the loop however they were continuing their search.  It was an encouraging email, however I feel they were letting me down gently.   So, I feel emotionally drained and somewhat defeated.  I love Maya Angelou‘s Poem, Still I Rise , especially the verse, “and still I rise”.   Therefore, I must work harder to embrace the future, and to let go of past disappointments.   I downloaded the Bible app on my Blackberry and have started a daily Bible study.   Today’s lesson was so timely  and so encouraging that I have posted it here for all to read.  Whenever you feel that the world has treated you unfairly, remember, they too will have a judgment day!

The “”Knower

God is many different things. He’s a Father, a Creator, a Shepherd, a Husband, a Healer, and a Provider. And each of these names highlights a certain aspect of His nature and character. As a Father, His compassion is expressed. As a Creator, His creativity is expressed. And it goes on and on.

There’s another way in which He is known, and that’s as the Just Judge who presides over earth. As such, another angle of His character is seen. Although the injustices and wrongs of this world may seem to go unpunished, God is the keeper of justice, and He will be faithful to execute it and uphold His righteousness.

It doesn’t always seem like that, especially when we’re personally affected by someone else’s sin. Sometimes it appears that injustice will prevail. But in His own perfect timing, and according to His own perfect way, injustice will be brought into the light, tried, and judged. Nobody truly gets away with anything. One way or another, justice will be served. And this is one of the many ways God’s incomparable character is expressed.

How? We all have a “knower” inside us that responds and resonates when we see the right thing happen. It’s been placed there by God so we would have an internal witness that gives an “amen” to His standards for right and wrong (Romans 2:14-15). And when we see justice served, when God executes judgment, there’s a connection that happens inside us. It puts us on God’s wavelength and can even serve as a catalyst for a deep and intimate relationship with Him.

Lord, continue to reveal Yourself as a righteous and perfect Judge over all things, and deepen our understanding of your heart as you continue to do so.

What does this passage reveal to me about God? He is the judge over my life and is in control of my destiny.

What does this passage reveal to me about myself? I need to develop a stronger faith walk and realize God is in control.

Based on this, what changes do I need to make?  Seek a spirtual mentor,  continue to seek balance in my life, be still and wait patiently on the Lord!!!!

What is my prayer for today? 
Sent via BlackBerry by AT



The Compassionate one, My mother Ola M. Johnson!

  I am no Mother Teresa, however I honestly feel that I am still alive because God has a special plan for my life.    I will be celebrating my 60th birthday next month.  I have been through so many changes and so many adverse circumstances that I should really be dead.  I should have been strung out on drugs, a whore , prostitute,  and homeless bum.   My faith in God has sustained me.  I survived against all odds.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a God.  My life is a living testimony of  God’s grace and mercy.  This is a personal post and I really do not care whether people believe it or not.    I have prayed and asked God to forgive me and he did.   My life is a journey and a testimony of faith.  Divine intervention is something that you have to experience for yourself.  I am sure many of you have read about people experiencing “near death” or being brought back from the “brink of death”.  Many of which had never really believed in God however became born again Christians. I have always had a spiritual and deep relationship with God.   The mere fact that my mother choose to have me is a miracle.  I am thankful that she did.  I was her love child, born out of an affair.  The one time in her life that she did something wrong that turned out  right.  She fell in love with my biological father and they created me.  So I feel that it is my life’s destiny is to  bless others.  God has special plans for my life.   I am an exceptional person. I have experienced exceptional highs and exceptional lows.  This is my personal testimony. I am here simply because of my unyielding faith in God.  He is my rock, my prince of peace, my heavenly father.  I did not know my biological father and had a strained relationship with my stepfather.  It gives me great comfort to realize that my heavenly father loves me and he is keeping me alive for his purpose.  It has taken me 6o years to realize this truth.  I pray for twenty more to years to of his love and mercy.   Consequently, I have dedicated the rest of my life to doing his will not mine.

Racial makeup of the Catholic Church. Data and...

Image via Wikipedia

I have attended church all of my life.  I was a dedicated church goer.    That all changed in 2008.  I started working for my church and it was a terrible experience.  I used to believe in the church as a reverent place.   I guess I got to close to the inner circle.  I realized that the ministers, deacons, choir members, etc are simply people.  Some talk the talk, however they do not walk the walk.  Behind closed doors.    I am a spiritual person and I worship God.  I do not believe in organized religion.  I find it all to be superficial and a game.  The same office politics that existed at the job is double at the church.  The deadly sins, oh please.   The pious, so judgemental, they will pray for you in one breath and stab in the back.  My church almost made me turn from God!!!!! The lies, the petty lies, the hypocrisy it all made me sick to my stomach.  They had no heart, they treated me like crap and I no longer believe in attending church.  Church is in your heart your mind your body your soul.  I worship what is true. Nature is unchanging a God’s gift to man.  So what I think of religion? It is all a game! My opinion and that is the only one that counts. 

%d bloggers like this: